motivation

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed I was starting to develop a stutter. It arose whenever I talked to my friends, my family, and even my coworkers. When it first began, I didn’t know what to make of it and did the worst thing I could have done: I googled it. It should come as no surprise that what I got off of Google was quite disturbing. It said the stutter could be a sign of a brain tumor. Wow!

Upon further evaluation, I determined that the stutter was a mental block that had developed due to some hard conversations I’d been having with different people. In the span of a week, I had engaged in conversations about white supremacy and the horror that unfolded in Charlottesville, VA, as well as our LGBT brothers and sisters. Neither conversation went very well at all. During one, I spoke with several people where I was the only one on my particular side of the conversation, and in the other I ended up getting into an argument with a guy that I thought shared my perspective.

I mention these conversations only because they allowed me to evaluate what my motivation was for getting into these discussions. Actually, I didn’t willfully evaluate them. My best bud James asked me what my motivations were and it made me think – why was I getting into these discussions? Was I trying to educate others on topics I care about such as white privilege and the LGBT community? Was I trying to show people I know more than them? Was I trying to get others to flip over to my side, or was I simply arguing to argue for something?

The truth is, it was probably a little of all of those things. I wasn’t actively thinking about my internal motivations, but I am positive my ego and personal agenda crept in as I was having the conversations. The problem is that I was causing more division than anything else. Even when I thought I was trying to unify everyone, all I was doing was driving a wedge between my friends and me. I’m not saying I should have abstained from having these conversations, but I most definitely should have evaluated my motivation for having a conversation and planned out my side a little better.

The other aspect I lacked in these conversations was empathy. My other best bud David pointed this out. I certainly didn’t take the time to try to see things from their perspective, which caused me to not listen to them as well as I should have. I was planning out my next hard-hitting sentence while they were talking, because in my mind if I just phrased my side better then they would understand. This is obviously the wrong approach to any conversation, and it took me developing a stutter to realize this. I must be extremely dense.

So, I write all of this as an attempt to open up to all of you. I am trying to do this more and more, and part of that is admitting my faults to however many of you are reading this. As we say on our podcast, I do not have the answers necessarily, but I am willing to discuss what the possible answers are. Ever since these things were pointed out to me, I have been able to have far better conversations with the people close to me. I guess it only took me not being able to talk for a while to be able to effectively communicate with other people.

-brad

FINISH HIM!

Did you ever play Mortal Kombat on Nintendo or Super Nintendo?

I realize this may be a dumb question for most of you.  You are probably sitting there saying: “What are you serious?  Of course, I played Mortal Kombat when I was a kid.  It is only one of, if not the greatest game ever made! What are you crazy?”

I wouldn’t blame you if this were your reaction because I agree with you.  It is definitely one of the greatest games ever made. I remember many days and nights when I would sit around and play this wonderful game for hours on end.  Everyone would jockey to get their favorite fighter and give it all they got to make sure they lasted in the eternal struggle that is fictional universe fighting.  Each person would try to find that magic combination of kicks and punches that would render their opponent wobbling to and fro, unable to fight back, and it was at that moment that you would hear those glorious words in a wonderfully deep voice:

FINISH HIM!

If you have listened to our podcast or read my previous blog posts, you are probably aware of my struggle with Evangelicalism.  My eyes were opened to this struggle during the last election cycle.  The rhetoric I was hearing out of this group was concerning to me, but at that point, I thought maybe I was just misunderstanding what was going on.  Then the election happened and 80% of white evangelicals chose to elect a man that claimed that sexual assault and misogyny was perfectly acceptable.  It was “locker room talk.”  Not to mention he feels that anyone who crosses the border from Mexico are “rapists” and “drug dealers”.  All of this turned into a great combination of punches and kicks that first made me stumble, and then got me to sway. 

And then came the Nashville Statement, and that booming voice came over the speakers as I stood staggering saying, “Finish Him.”  If this seems a little dramatic, understand that this was simply the final straw of many that had been falling into place.  I could go into the topic of gender binaries and what many have called the “Biblical” way of looking at those, but I am not enough of an expert and have not read enough about this to make an intelligent statement about those.  I disagree with a lot of language in all of those articles about gender binaries, but again don’t have enough knowledge to really speak on those.

The part that I found most heart breaking was Article 10:

WE AFFIRM that it is sinful to approve of homosexual immorality or transgenderism and that such approval constitutes an essential departure from Christian faithfulness and witness.

WE DENY that the approval of homosexual immorality or transgenderism is a matter of moral indifference about which otherwise faithful Christians should agree to disagree.

With this statement, not only do they believe that a LGBT person cannot be a follower of Christ, but they also state, that anyone who loves on and affirms a LBGT person cannot be a follower of Christ either.  This particularly hits home with me as they are calling me out with this statement.  You might be thinking you don’t see that in the statement posted above, and that’s fair because it isn’t.  It came the next day when they sought to clarify what they meant with the initial statement.  You can find where they are doubling down here. 

Instead of throwing stones at the people who wrote and signed the Nashville Statement, I want to take a second to explain why I feel this is downright hateful towards the LGBT community and anyone who supports this community.  For starters, I believe this in no way reflects Jesus and his teachings.  If we want to get into sexual immorality, the Nashville Statement would also need to address the staggering number of pastors who are addicted to porn and/or have affairs.  Conveniently, that was left out here.  Instead a group of Christian leaders decided to go after a community that has been hated on for decades. 

The biggest problem I have with all of this is people tend to forget how they were when they discovered Jesus.  When I walked down the aisle to the front where I prayed the prayer of salvation, I don’t remember hearing the voice of Jesus saying, “Thanks for coming, I will gladly accept you, but first I am going to need you to change your behavior before I will save you from burning in the pits of hell.”  No!  I distinctly remember the song Come as You Are playing in the background, and the pastor opening up his arms and giving me a big hug.  The best part was, I felt the arms of Jesus wrap around me as if to say, “you are mine.”  The audacity of this group of people to say Jesus didn’t mean that for the LGBT community or its supporters is interesting to say the least.  The level of self-righteousness in this statement makes we wonder if they have even read about Jesus, let alone studied who he was.

For more information about gender binaries, I encourage you to check this blog post by Rachel Held Evans.  She wrote this some time ago, but it applies to this as well.

https://rachelheldevans.com/blog/gender-binaries?utm_content=buffer0813a&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

Also, Here is a Link to the Nashville Statement and the statement defending Article 10:

https://cbmw.org/nashville-statement/

https://cbmw.org/the-nashville-statement/why-the-nashville-statement-now-and-what-about-article-10/

Please let us know what your thoughts are on this topic!  There have already been some amazing discussion about this on Facebook and Twitter and we would love to hear your thoughts!

-brad

my hill to die on

Recently, we released a couple of episodes where two of our friends discussed their differences politically.  In these episodes, both used the phrase “my hill to die on.”  To be honest, that was the first time I had ever heard that phrase, and I found it interesting that both parties used it at different times.  At the time, I must confess I just could not figure out why both of them would use this phrase.  I mean, why such a violent metaphor to discuss whether or not a certain issue in politics is a person’s final stand?

A couple of days ago, I was speaking to a minister friend of mine while I was at my church.  The conversation started innocently, but soon more complex topics began to come to the surface.  As we were discussing these topics, my minster friend told me “You are very opinionated.”  If my memory serves me right, we were discussing white privilege, mass incarceration and the reality of race in America – all topics that I care deeply about.  In the moment, I brushed past the comment as I have been told this before.  Most of the time this phrase is used in a way to almost belittle me into thinking I am too emotional about the topic.  But I do not think that my minster friend meant it in this way.

So, it got me thinking.  What is my hill to die on?

Before I go any farther, I would like to confess something.  I am not the most intellectual person you will ever meet.  I am not a Bible scholar.  I am not a theologian.  Until recently, the Bible was confusing, infuriating and depressing to me.  But after having my eyes opened to the many levels the Bible possesses, I see it transcends time with some of its themes.  One of the main ones is love.

So, when my minster friend told me I was very opinionated, I actually took it as a compliment.  I had just got done saying I would fight for those who are being oppressed, even if (or especially if) they are being oppressed by the church.  The conversation had covered topics about the LGBT community, minority children who are told they are nothing by their jerk of a teacher, and more.  I got emotional multiple times, almost crying on more than one occasion, and I realized something…

THAT IS MY HILL TO DIE ON!!!

I will fight for those that others say are not worthy.  And that especially is the case if the Church is saying they are not worthy.  I am willing to be asked if “my faith is wavering” if that means I am standing up for those that some say are out of the tribe.  As I have studied more of the Bible and tried to understand the arc of most of the stories, one thing has jumped off the page to me: Love.  If anything is used to discriminate against others, I believe it is not of Jesus.  Jesus never turned people away.  He was about inclusion, not exclusion, and I pray that I may be about the same things.

Still Reading:

The Gifts of the Jews: How a Tribe of Desert Nomads Changed the Way Everyone Thinks and Feels  by Thomas Cahill

written by Brad Stair